Friday, January 9, 2015

Our life

25 with 4 kids wasn't always what I had in mind for myself. But life happened .
Cindy was so sweet, she tried her best to clean the hotel rooms but I followed behind her and helped , the real reason I liked working with Cindy was the conversation, she was real. We also both loved the same music and would sing as we worked. Well we got talking about me one day and how I was in a lonely place in my life. I had just moved to green river and my sisters had their own lives. Cindy took my number and that's when my life changed. Chris was Cindy's son, he called me while I was at my second job and agreed to meet me when he got back in town from Utah.  Chris met me at the skate park in the middle of the night, he sat down a little bit away from me and was so sweet . Chris offered to drive me around town for awhile and show me the cool spots. We drove around for a couple hours just talking  also stopped by his friends house. When I finally decided to go home Chris asked me if maybe he could have a kiss... I declined and started walking away, but turned around and kissed him .
I had never felt the way I did for anyone . it was like a giddy feeling that just ached to not be with him and it scared me at first . how could I be in love with someone I just met .
I had already been seeing this guy at work .. No feelings for him at all just someone to hang out with and do things with . but that ended very soon. I had it in my head I didn't belong in green river .. I even went as far as starting to pack my things.
The more I hung out with Chris I realized this is the first time I had completely been myself . I opened up to him, I told him things no one knew. He was so sweet to me. So patient with me and even agreed to take me back to Nevada .
One night I smoked pot and got really drunk and went to the bowling alley falling all over the place, Chris came and got me and took me home and took care of me. How could I leave, he was the first man that took care of me when I needed him the most. He would have done anything for me.
I had been depressed for a few years , no reason to live and just lost, until I met Chris .
Chris went and bought a ring only a few weeks after knowing me. But when you know.. You just know. Chris had this whole plan of hiking up a cliff and asking me at the top. Not know I am horribly terrified of heights ,he found that out later, but I knew something was up when he said I have something to ask you later. Well the annoying nagy  me got it out of him. He took me into an empty room at my work and asked me to be his wife. I didn't even have to think about it I just knew he was my forever.
We were so happy . and Cindy was happy for us. We went and talked to her after and she was so accepting and loving.
Just a few short weeks after getting engaged Cindy went to the hospital . she didn't make it. I will never forget driving Chris and his brother to the hospital and seeing her laying there . But I knew I was supposed to be there . Cindy found me because god knew Chris would need me. Cindy had told me that a few days before she passed away.
Chris took it hard, he quit his job. He just couldn't be there anymore so we went to Utah. About a week after living in Utah we found out something that would change our lives forever. I was pregnant . wow. What does that even mean. How long are women even pregnant . 18 and clueless .
About another week went by and my sister went into labor in Wyoming so we headed back to meet my nephew .
We announced our news and no one in Wyoming was happy for us. They all thought we were crazy. John ,one of my sisters boyfriend, offered us a place to stay and a job for Chris until we found something better. Chris stepped up. He worked hard and put up with a lot of crap . we eventually found our own apartment, it was the smallest apartment I had ever seen but it was ours. I was working at blockbuster and Chris at moneyhun. We were living on love. If you have never heard that saying.. Pretty much we were broke as hell but our love was keeping us going. We were happy and excited . No one had faith in us. I was 18 and Chris was 20.
January 10th I got a call from Chris I was laying in bed, very pregnant and very tired. Chris said "hey babe put on something nice I will be home soon" I asked why , not wanting to get out of bed. He said " we are getting married today" well I put on the only shirt that fit me At the time that wasn't Chris's and Chris picked me up. We headed to the courthouse to get out marriage license and got married . Some may think wow so not romantic . But to me it was one of the best days of my life. A little less then 2 months later and 2 weeks overdue I went into labor with our baby girl. There were times I wanted to give up .. I even told Chris to just take me home she isn't coming out it hurts to bad. Well I vaginally delivered after 13 hours a 6lb 9oz baby girl. We named her Charity Ann. Ann was also Cindy's middle name.
Wow. Huge shock.. She doesn't sleep at night , geez babies poop a lot . ahhh how do I get that poopy onesie off of her . haha it was fun learning, but guess what .. We did it.. And we were amazing parents.
Charity was 7 months old and we found out shocking news. I was pregnant again.
Chris hated his job and had found a new one. Bad news came that he was going to be laid off. Then they told us he could transfer to texas instead. Chris went to see how things were in Texas and then I joined him for a week. Wow what an amazing place. An island, the beach was amazing. So I flew home with charity and packed everything. Chris flew back so he could say goodbye to family and drive the moving truck. The night before we were supposed to move a truck rear ended us while I was driving. Totaled our car but we all seemed to be fine. Spent the night in er making sure our unborn baby was also OK. I had hurt my back in the crash but they couldn't do anything being I was pregnant.
We put out totalled car on a behind our uhaul and headed to Texas, no clue how life would turn out.
We moved into a cute little house that was on stilts. Water on both ends of the street . It was amazing! Such a beautiful place and we saw so many cool things.
Pregnancy with Zander was hard. I went into preterm labor alot but they were always able to stop it. I had high blood pressure and constant contractions and taking care of a 1 year old with no family around us. Chris was trying to be so strong for us, and work hard to support us. I was not the easiest person to deal with. I was depressed and angry. I blamed myself for being sick all the time, I know dumb right.
Chris aunt passed away and we flew to back to Wyoming to bury her and Chris moms ashes at the same time . heart breaking for Chris, his aunt Pam was an amazing woman and it was like bury 2 moms at the same time. Chris was heartbroken and not in a good place in his head, no words I could say could help him.
My grandmother in law, grandfather in law and sister in law came to help with charity around my due date I don't know what we would have done without their help.  On my due date we drove to the hospital to show them where it was. As we were driving away I went into labor.24 hours of labor. When the nurse came and broke my water she decided to check and see how far I progressed, she yelled your baby is holding my hand!! When they had broke the water zander's hand came out to. The nurse started to panic saying c section you need a c section . Doctor came in with the commotion and pushed Zander's right back up there and said there ya go all better. Well Zander was born 6lbs 15oz and beautiful. Finally he was out and safe.
2 kids wow what a change! Family went home . my mom Suzy came and helped with charity for a couple days. I had a uterus infection and a high fever, I couldn't move without chris. I don't know what I would have done if my mom hadn't have been there taking care of charity. The meds started helping and my mom went home. Then I was in pain again. I went to my doctor and my IUD had burned a hole in my uterus and went threw. I needed emergency surgery. Chris was right by my side and taking care of 2 kids by himself. I recovered and started learning how to take care of 2 kids.
Right before Christmas I was taking a shower and started having horrible pain and bleeding a lot. I had a miscarriage without even knowing I was pregnant again. The doctors told me I would most likely not have any more kids. It was a very sad time and I started closing everyone out of my life and just taking care of my kids.
Zander was 6 months old my father in law came to visit. Having someone there was great but time came and he went home. Yes we had each other but we needed family. We fought a lot. We weren't OK. I was depressed. Grandparents in law and sister in law came to visit around zander's first birthday and their visit wasn't long enough. We had to move, we had to get back home to Wyoming or that would be the end of us.
The planning began. Chris work told Chris he could transfer back to Wyoming and grandma told us we could move there until we found an apartment. I packed up the hlaborand flew to utah with the kids. My father in law flew to Texas to help Chris move. The weather wasn't good, on the way a semi had slid on the snow and was blocking the road. It was snowing and nighttime and Rex ( my father in law) saved their lives by swerving between the truck and a cement barrier. Our car was on  a trail or behind the uhaul and wasn't lucky. Yes another wreck while moving . I wasn't so mad because i was just thankful Chris and Rex were OK.. If Rex hadn't have been driving Chris probably wouldn't be here today.
Well we got to Wyoming and Chris called his work, they told him they actually didn't have a job for him to come to. After weeks of trying to figure out our next step Chris was going to start applying for mine jobs and took a job at maverick gas station. Chris was having bad dental problems and infections so he got his teeth fixed. Everytime mines accepted applications Chris turned them in. We were broke but getting by.
I started getting sick, throwing up a lot and really tired. I went to the doctor because I thought I had the flu and he told me I was pregnant. I broke down. I know normally people are so excited and I was don't get me wrong, I was told I would never have any more kids. We were broke with 2 kids already. It took me 2 hours to gather myself together and drive home. Chris held me and told me we would figure it out and we would be fine. Some people were not so nice about it and some people did everything they could to help us. Chris applied for so many jobs and it just wasn't happening. Somehow we made things work Chris was working at maverick and for awhile I babysat 7 kids. With help we got things ready for a new baby.
Chris drove me for my 40 week check up to evanston. It should have only taken an hour and a half but it took about 5 hours to get there through a blizzard. Wyoming in December is not the best weather. When we got there my doctor decided it was best to start my labor so we wouldn't have to do that drive again with me in labor. 6 hours of labor and my little Royce came out. 6lb 14oz and perfect. After a couple days we  drove home and the older kids got to meet baby brother. Our family was perfect and complete or so we thought.
When Royce was 6 weeks old he got very sick. He had RSV bronchitis and pneumonia . he was in the hospital for 3 days and I never once left his side. Chris was only able to come up for an hour once being we had no one to watch the other kids for long. He took care of things at home and I took care of baby Royce. He was able to go home after the 3 days but was on oxygen for a week at home. It was such a scary time but he pulled through.  
When Royce was 7 months old we found out I was pregnant again, I was on birth control and we were completely shocked.
Royce had 9 ear infections in 6 months and went in for surgery to get tubes in his ears. It helped him so much and Chris helped us both through it.
Our apartment told us we would have to move once the baby was born. Chris got a new job making more money and the hunt for an apartment for 2 adults and 4 kids wasn't easy . we got turned down a few times and my due date was getting close. With some luck I found a place our landlord was very sympathetic when I told her our story and called me within 30 minutes telling me it was ours. With lots of help and a very determined husband we got moved very quickly.
To treat the kids after the move we took a trip to Utah. We went to the zoo , and to lagoon. We came home and got ready for the new baby.
About 2 weeks before my due date I fell on the stairs and got hurt. Chris ran me to the hospital and they monitored the baby over night and sent me home the next morning.
A week past my due date I went in for a check up and started contractions . the doctor got me admitted to the hospital and Chris showed awhile later. About 12 hours and 3 epidurals later out dear Lyric was born. 7lb 13oz perfection .  The next morning I went into surgery and had my tubes tied.
We took our sweet girl home the next day.  It took awhile for me to recover after having lyric luckily she was such an easy baby and Chris took care of the kids.
Learning to take care of 4 kids hasn't been an easy task. Between 2 schools and doctor appointments dentist and eye appointments I am pretty busy. During Royce's 18 month check up we decided Royce needed to see a cardiologist because he had a heart murmur that wasn't going away. I made the appointment in Utah and after a couple trips for tests it was decided our sweet boy needs open heart surgery . Royce will have this surgery before he starts kindergarten so between 2-3 years.
Life is full of ups and downs. Struggles you don't think you will get through and happiness you didn't think you could feel.
I can never express how much I love my husband so I figured writing our story would help me explain how my love for him has grown each year.
Chris has such strength in his heart. He has helped me through so many hard times when I just thought I couldn't go any further .
You're my best friend. Thank you for all you have done for me and the kids. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for letting me be a stay at home mom. Thank you for putting up with my crazy self. Thank you for loving me. I love you more than words can explain and I am excited to see what else life throws at us, because I know no matter what happens I will get through it with you by my side.
Happy Anniversary. 7 years married Jan. 10
                                  8 years together end of march
Its a crazy life.. But its our life.. And I love it.